What is my plan for ND football?
Well Joshua, I never thought you’d ask. After listening to the off the rails podcast “How do you plan on doing Notre Dame Football this season?” I figured I would respond with an off the rails fan article giving you every single detail of my plans. First, let me give you some context as to why I am the way that I am.
I have seen every single ND football game since 1994 when I was four years old, and I probably saw every game before that too. My family is Irish Catholic, but we never miss ND football for Saturday mass. My great uncle would have the entire family and all extended families by marriage over every Saturday in his basement to watch ND football. That room was the OG Notre Dame fan cave for me. It had a pool table in the other room for the kids to play with when the game was on so the adults wouldn’t have to deal with us, it had ND memorabilia everywhere, Rudy’s jersey hung over the chimney with care, there was a bathroom that everyone could hear you use from the echo if it was quiet enough, a massive TV, and a bar where I would sit and eat Tostitos and salsa for 3-4 hours straight.
I stayed at my grandparents a lot as a kid while my parents went through a divorce. My grandpa would read me bedtime stories which were old news articles of game recaps, and stories from the Blue and Gold magazine. He lived on the same street as his brother (my great uncle), and we would walk 20 houses down on Saturday singing the fight song the whole walk. One time on these walks, I asked him “would you still love me if I played football for Michigan?” He started choking immediately. I thought I killed him. But when he got his breath back he said “We don’t love losers.”
All of this love for Notre Dame in my family comes from my great great uncle, Jerry Flynn (Timothy Gerald Flynn), being a cheerleader at Notre Dame back in the 1930’s. He ran the Notre Dame club of Rochester after graduating in 1940, was a master of ceremonies, an OG toastmaster, local sports announcer, and by all accounts the funniest and happiest man you could ever meet. His Notre Dame degree launched our family towards success. He was born in America, went back to Ireland with the family at the age of 2. Then due to a family member(s) “allegedly” being part of the IRA, our family was dragged out in the street and almost executed, so they came back to America shortly thereafter.
My cousin, Grady, was also at most of these games in my Uncle Terry’s basement. So much so that we made a blood pact to NEVER have a fall wedding during Notre Dame football season. So you can imagine my anger after I booked a flight and hotel to Austin Texas and College Station for August 28-September 1st earlier this year, when I got his wedding invite for August 30th. Because “TeChNiCaLlY iT iSn’T dUrInG nD’s FoOtBaLl SeAsOn” – his words.
So here are my plans for each game this season:
8/31 Notre Dame @ Texas A&M: wake up incredibly hungover from my cousin’s wedding in Turning Stone Casino. Lose lots of money throughout the day. I reserved a table for 40 people at a restaurant in the Casino that will have the game on for us. Drink lots of Labatt blue light and Irish whiskey.
9/7 NIU Huskies @ ND: I almost went to NIU for baseball and football (I probably would’ve been cut anyways), so I am pretty excited about this game. I’ll be driving 8 hours from Rochester, NY to the Mecca. Not sure who I am bringing to the game yet, but I’ll be in probably Joyce Lot cooking up a storm for anyone that wants some free food or whiskey.
9/14 ND @ Purdue: After driving 8 hours back from ND to Rochester, I’ll be turning around to drive 9 hours back to West Lafayette, Indiana. Then I’ll have to drive another hour to pickup my boy from Indianapolis and back after he flies in from Boston for the game. We were roommates for 3 years in college, and he is a Purdue fan. I had to make sure we saw this game together in person. Too much shit talk has exchanged between us not to. That being said, if anyone in the area wants to put me up for a week, I’ll be much obliged, because all this driving kind of sucks.
Once were there, we will be tailgating with Dr. Abbey and friends of the twitter/x verse in the driving range lot. Come one come all.
9/21 The real Miami @ ND: I really need to buy a house in South Bend. I am on the fence for this one. I have the tickets, I have the hotel, but do I have the will to drive another 8 hours? P.S. fellas, this is why I need your long ass podcasts to get me through these drives. If someone twists my arm and wants to go the game with me, I’ll probably cave in and go. If I don’t end up going, I’ll be watching from the man cave with my 5 TVs and my cousins getting wasted as we run up the score (we better run up the score).
9/28 Louisville @ ND: I seriously need to buy a house in South Bend. I will definitely be going to this game. Another 8 hour drive in. Another tailgate in Joyce, and hopefully a pure revenge ass whooping to be delivered to those dirty birds this game.
10/12 Stanford @ ND: This is the only game my cousin can make this year, so I will at least have some company for this 8 hour drive. I use my mom’s reward account to book hotels, and we discovered a hotel cheat code with it. Early check-in is all the way up to 12:01 am if the room is available, so we head down after work Thursday and get in to the hotel technically Friday morning, sleep, wake up, enjoy campus for a full day. This game we will be tailgating with a shitload of people from ND twitterverse including Dr. Abbey and the Fighting Irish Faithful podcast (in North Lot I believe). I was dead set against going to a Stanford game because they are always so boring, or the polar opposite of a Tommy Rees OC level of frustrating. But here we are.
10/19 ND @ Georgia Tech: Thankfully my friend that is a GT fan that lives in Georgia is busy this weekend, and I will be watching the game from home. Otherwise I would have at least flown instead of drive to this one.
10/26 ND at Navy in the New York Giants and New York Jets stadium that is actually located in New Jersey and therefore both of those dumbass trash teams have a dumbass trash name and are not true New York teams like the Buffalo Bills: I am never going to another Navy game ever again. So boring. The pregame is cool, the national anthem is cool, everything around the game is cool except the game itself.
11/9: FSU @ ND: My parent’s very good friend who babysat me when I was a kid, and still babysits me when we go out and I get too drunk, is an FSU fan. His son is also my best friend. So my bff is flying in from Salt Lake City to the game and I am driving his dad from Rochester to the game. As if this game needed any additional pressure, I cannot drive home listening to 8 hours of his dad doing the war chant. So we better effing win this one.
11/16 Virgina @ ND: Lol. Not going.
11/23 ND @ Army in Yankee Stadium: Fun fact, I pissed on this stadium when it was still being built. Go Red Sox. I will NOT be making the 6 hour drive to this game, but instead will be taking an 8 hour train ride in. My brother lives in NYC so my whole family is going to this game to visit with him and see the game and such. I will also be tailgat-….drinking in a local bar because there is nowhere to tailgate before the game with Dr. Abbey and my fam.
11/30 ND @ USC: We will be undefeated here and this is a big game. Me and my friends and family around here will likely end up at Shamrock Jacks for this game. It is a huge Notre Dame bar, and it has never been a bad experience. If your ever in Rochester, I recommend stopping in. Great food and not a space on the wall without something ND on it. Even the men’s room has a giant ass picture of the stadium in it.
12/21 Penn State @ ND: Why does everyone assume we’re getting a group of 5 team to come play us at home for the first playoff game ever when we go undefeated this year? I am willing to bet there is an undefeated group of 5 team that is ranked top ten. But you know who will round out that 12 spot purely because of their name? A two loss Penn State with a trash ass schedule. And you know I am right. So I’ll be making the 8 hour drive through the snow to ND for this game.
12/31 LSU @ ND in the Fiesta Bowl: The venue where he abandoned us. How fitting we meet here again. My uncle lives in Phoenix so I will definitely be flying out there for this game. I’ll have to borrow his car to tailgate, so it will be an unfamiliar setup.
1/9 Ohio State @ ND in the Orange Bowl: Should be an easy W for the Irish here. We’ll have 11 guys on the field at all times this time so they won’t be able to steal a win. I’ll be flying to this one. I have a friend that is a big ND fan that lives near Miami. Probably will join one of those sponsored tailgate things for pregame.
1/20 Air Force @ ND in Mercedes-Benz Stadium: Let’s be honest, it will be Georgia not Air Force. Time to fly to Atlanta for a quick National Championship. I’ll be going to this with my friend who is a die-hard Georgia fan. We’ll have to sit separately. But we will be pregaming together somewhere.
And those are my plans for the 2024 season. If anyone wants to join any of these events, hit me up @tim3773 on twitter. The more the merrier.
Now here is the real scoop I think Joshua was asking for when he asked what do you do for ND Football. The truth is… I am a psychopath. Some people have gameday routines. I have a gameday ritual. This ritual started pretty harmlessly at the start of the 2012 season. I burned a CD with some ND band stuff on there, I played it before every game driving to my dad’s bar, and we won every damn game. You know what that means boys, it is now tradition. And traditions grow. So here is my ritual from start to finish:
The night before the game I wear my “Made in Ireland” shirt and blue ND pajamas for home games, or brown ND zubas pajama pants for away games. I typically get a little to very drunk and fall asleep watching a Notre Dame movie, whether it’s Rudy, Knute Rockne All American, etc. I dream ND football, and wake up with a buzz either from the alcohol or pure excitement. It is gameday. My alarm is going off on my phone to the ND Fight Song. I spring out of bed, and take a fat shit. I utilize this time to pull out my phone and post on Facebook
IT’S GAMEDAY!!!
GOOOOOOO IRISH!!!
BEEEEAAAAT WHOEVER!!!
This also started in the 2011 season. I then jump in the shower. I use shampoo and Irish Spring bar soap only. No conditioner, no face wash on gamedays. As I step into the shower, I start to sing the choir version of the victory march while washing up followed by a Dan Devine “Sloppy! Run it again!” Then I go into The Rakes of Mallow, then Victory Clog, then whatever the hell the drumline “Gooooooooo Irish! Beeeeaaaaaaaaaat whoever!” song is, then a quick version of the rudy theme song, followed by Here Come the Irish song. Then comes the closers: I do the Celtic Chant into the oncoming water from shower head, and sound off getting out of the shower with a repeat of the choir version of the Victory March. – I feel the need to say this, I sing the real version of the victory march sang by my grandpappy and his grandpappy before him, not this sons and daughters nonsense.
Then I brush my teeth with my electric toothbrush humming the Celtic Chant. Put 7 swipes of deodorant on each pit. Put on my ND briefs. Then I have 3 options of ND socks for Home, Away, or Green. I put the right sock on halfway saying “lets start this game off on the RIGHT foot,” then put the left sock on saying “leave nothing LEFT behind,” and finish putting the right sock on while saying “and finish the game on the RIGHT foot.” – that silliness is from when I played sports, and now it’s superstition.
Next I toss on ND shorts or a pair of jeans if it’s cold. If it’s jeans I wear my dead step-grandfather’s belt. It makes me feel like he’s watching with me (I know, that’s obviously the only weird thing I do). Then I toss on my ND Football t-shirt that I have had since middle school even though it makes me look like Winnie the Pooh. I get to cover up the gut with the #10 Adidas blue jersey on for home games, whatever I want shamrock or away jersey for away games, or the Joe Montana jersey for home green-outs. I select a hat, put on my ND watch, my ND shoes, and away we go.
If I am driving around, or to a bar, or to the game itself, this is when I put on the burned CD, which is now a YouTube playlist thanks to the future fucking that up for me. Now I understand why my grandfather was pissed they took cassette players out of cars and replaced them with CD players.
If I am watching at home and not driving anywhere, I just sit and watch the playlist on my TV and sing along like I am a five year old watching a Disney singalong movie. Then I’ll flip on the record player and play an old ass vinyl called “The Songs of the Fighting Irish” while I have other college football games on all five of my TVs and four computer screens.
At the game I am tailgating, dishing out good food to anyone who wants, drinking, corn hole, kan jam, music, I have a TV setup on the back of my truck for other games, more drinking, and having a blast. Anyone who wants to join is always welcome. About 45 minutes before kickoff, we shut it down for the game. But first, I give everyone a shot of Irish whiskey and propose a toast. This toast is to the tune of an “Our Father” that I drunkenly makeup on the spot and blurt out some shit talk about the opponent and rally cries for our victory. Jude bore witness to this before the USC game last year. I’ll be sure to add to the end of toast next time he is there “for the kingdom, the power, and glory are Yours, do not abandon your child.”
I do not drink on gameday until the game starts if I am not going to the game in person. This backstory some of you should enjoy if you’ve made it this far. My dad owned a dope bar called “Paddy’s Pour House” in Charlotte. I had just moved to charlotte to go to UNCC at the ripe young age of 21. I made some new friends with regulars at this bar, and convinced my dad to open the bar at 8:30 am for the ND vs. Navy game at 9 am in Ireland. This is where my version of ND drinking game was conceived. It was me, a 30ish year old named Corey who had to go to work at 2 pm, and a 50 something year old named Brian. We couldn’t drink until the game started, but we landed on these rules:
On offense:
1 drink for an ND first down
Finish your drink for an ND touchdown
Finish half your drink for an ND field goal
On defense:
2 drinks for a sack or TFL
2 drinks for a turnover on downs
Finish your drink for a turnover
Take a shot for a defensive touchdown
Finish your drink was replaceable with a shot should you so choose if you were getting too full. So 27 first downs, seven touchdowns, a field goal, and four forced turnovers later – one of which was a 77 yard fumble recovery for a TD by Stephon Tuitt – we were absolutely HAMMERED by noon when families were walking in for lunch. I specifically remember Corey screaming “F*** THAT SH** THAT WAS HOLDING!” at the TV for a Syracuse vs Northwestern game that we weren’t even invested in. I also remember later that night walking up still hammered on a guy at my dad’s bar in a Michigan jersey yelling “You guys SUCK ASS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” directly into his face after they got their doors blown off by Bama. Funny enough, we’re really good friends now.
Anyways, we did that same drinking game every game for the rest of that magical year. And I still blame myself for Bama beating ND in the natty because I drank before the game started for the first time all year. I also only drank Labatt Blue Light bottles for the games that whole year, so to this day that is all I will drink during the game while watching on the telly.
Once the game is over, and the alma matter has been sung, it’s party time to celebrate a W. Doesn’t matter where. If we somehow lose, I am inconsolable and I will drink myself silly and drunk tweet angrily about the game until I blackout and pass out. I learned this behavior from my family in Uncle Terry’s basement.
